Continuing on my mock excursion into Spidey's first day as an Avenger in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, let's picture how his first conversation with Thor might go:
Spider-Man: "So what did Loki want, anyway?"
Thor: "To rule Midgard, small man of the spider."
Spider-Man: "Wasn't he already a god?"
Thor: "Indeed, son of Parker."
Spider-Man: "Y'know, my uncle Ben always said with great power comes great responsibility. Sounds like Loki could've used an uncle Ben in his life. What was his dad like?"
Thor: "... Do not pry, Parkerson."
Spider-Man: "Not exactly a mensch, huh?"
Thor: "HAVE AT THEE!"
Matthew Phillion is the writer of "The Indestructibles," part-time actor, occasional filmmaker. Currently on the lam in Salem with his trusty dog, Watson.