What about Marvel Cinematic Universe Spidey meeting up with the Black Widow? We know Widow's no nonsense, and Spidey is, well, ALL nonsense. How might that play out?
Spider-Man: "So you're Black Widow."
Black Widow: "Yes."
Spider-Man: "Like the spider?"
Black Widow: "Yes. And before you say anything, I was Black Widow when your aunt was still making your dinner for you."
Spider-Man: "My aunt still makes my dinner for me. But that's, y'know, beside the point. Do you have spider powers?"
Black Widow: "What?"
Spider-Man: "Spider powers. Stick to walls? Shoot webs?"
Black Widow: "No. Stop talking."
Spider-Man: "Spider sense alerting you to danger?"
Black Widow: "You realize actual spiders don't have 'spider-sense,' right? Also stop talking."
Spider-Man: "So why call yourself Black Widow? Why not Secret Agent Something Something?"
Black Widow: "Because female black widows have deadly poison and kill male spiders."
Spider-Man: "Kill male spiders?"
Black Widow: "And sometimes eat them."
Spider-Man: "You said something about stop talking?"
Black Widow: "I did."
Spider-Man. "I'm going to do that now."
Matthew Phillion is the writer of "The Indestructibles," part-time actor, occasional filmmaker. Currently on the lam in Salem with his trusty dog, Watson.