An enraged Hulk and a panicked Spider-Man. How can our hero resolve this situation? He has an idea:
Hulk: "Hulk smash puny spider!"
Spider-Man: "I said I'm sorry!"
Hulk: "Hulk not accept puny spider's apology!"
Spider-Man: "Puny spider doesn't find that an acceptable outcome to his apology!"
Hulk: "Puny man thinks he's so funny!"
Spider-Man: "Hey, I've been told I'm incredibly clever and amusing. Aunt May always laughs at my--Tony's going to be so mad when he sees what you did to the lab. Science bros only covers so much."
Hulk: "Hulk smash lab!"
Spider-Man: "Does property usually come out of my salary? Do I have a salary? Is there an Avengers stipend? I bet they don't take smashed items out of Banner's stipend."
Hulk: "Hulk not Banner!"
Spider-Man: "Thank you, Captain Obvious!"
Hulk: "Hulk not Captain! Hulk smash bossy captain!"
Spider-Man: "Speaking of, Cap is going to be so mad at me. Hey Hulk! Want to get an ice cream?"
Hulk: "Hulk smash... Ice cream?"
Spider-Man: "Yeah, we can head over to #EddiesSweetShop in Queens, get a banana split?"
Hulk: "Hulk like banana splits!"
Spider-Man: "Phew. Okay. Now where does Stark keep the petty cash. I don't have any pockets in this costume."
Hulk: "Hulk carry cash. Hulk sometimes need cab fare."
Spider-Man: "That... makes way too much sense, big guy."
(Image by Sterling Arts & Cosplay)
Matthew Phillion is the writer of "The Indestructibles," part-time actor, occasional filmmaker. Currently on the lam in Salem with his trusty dog, Watson.