Why they'll never let me write Spider-Man, Part 5: HULK SMASH

An enraged Hulk and a panicked Spider-Man. How can our hero resolve this situation? He has an idea: 

Hulk: "Hulk smash puny spider!" 
Spider-Man: "I said I'm sorry!" 
Hulk: "Hulk not accept puny spider's apology!" 
Spider-Man: "Puny spider doesn't find that an acceptable outcome to his apology!" 
Hulk: "Puny man thinks he's so funny!" 
Spider-Man: "Hey, I've been told I'm incredibly clever and amusing. Aunt May always laughs at my--Tony's going to be so mad when he sees what you did to the lab. Science bros only covers so much." 
Hulk: "Hulk smash lab!" 
Spider-Man: "Does property usually come out of my salary? Do I have a salary? Is there an Avengers stipend? I bet they don't take smashed items out of Banner's stipend." 
Hulk: "Hulk not Banner!" 
Spider-Man: "Thank you, Captain Obvious!" 
Hulk: "Hulk not Captain! Hulk smash bossy captain!" 
Spider-Man: "Speaking of, Cap is going to be so mad at me. Hey Hulk! Want to get an ice cream?" 
Hulk: "Hulk smash... Ice cream?" 
Spider-Man: "Yeah, we can head over to ‪#‎EddiesSweetShop‬ in Queens, get a banana split?" 
Hulk: "Hulk like banana splits!" 
Spider-Man: "Phew. Okay. Now where does Stark keep the petty cash. I don't have any pockets in this costume." 
Hulk: "Hulk carry cash. Hulk sometimes need cab fare." 
Spider-Man: "That... makes way too much sense, big guy." 


(Image by Sterling Arts & Cosplay) 
‪#‎whytheyllneverletmewritespiderman‬

---